Relationships

Teachers and Students

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“We are students and teachers to each other. Peace comes to us when we recognize and demonstrate that all our relationships are equal.”

~ Gerald G. Jampolsky, Teach Only Love

Painting by Alfred Sisley (1877)

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Renegotiate Your Mind and Heart

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“When you agree to live simply, you have time for spiritual and corporal works of mercy because you have renegotiated in your mind and heart your very understanding of time and its purposes. Time is not money, despite the common aphorism. Time is life itself!

When you agree to live simply, people cease to be possessions and objects for your consumption or use. Your lust for relationships or for others to serve you, your need for admiration, your desire to use people or things as commodities for your personal pleasure, or any need to control and manipulate others, slowly—yes, very slowly—falls away. Only then are you free to love.”

~ Richard Rohr

Painting by Paul Gauguin (1888)

Hymn Of Praise To You

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“Why do I keep relating to you as one of my many relationships, instead of my only relationship, in which all other ones are grounded ? Why do I keep looking for popularity, respect from others, success, acclaim, and sensual pleasures? Why, Lord, is it so hard for me to make you the only one? Why do i keep hesitating to surrender myself totally to you?

Help me, O Lord, to let my old self die, to let die the thousand big and small ways in which i am still building up my false self and trying to cling to my false desires. Let me be reborn in you and see through you the world in the right way, so that all my actions, words, thoughts can become a hymn of praise to you. I need your loving grace to travel on this hard road that leads to the death of my old self and to a new life in and for you. I know and trust that this is the road to freedom. Lord, dispel my mistrust and help me become a trusting friend.

Amen.”

~Henri Nouwen, A Cry For Mercy: Prayers From the Genesee

Set Boundaries and Claim Yourself

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“When people show you their boundaries (“I can’t do this for you”), you feel rejected. You cannot accept the fact that others are unable to do for you all that you expect from them. You desire boundless love, boundless care, boundless giving.

Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love — something you have never done. You give whatever people ask of you, and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself exhausted, used, and manipulated. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect, and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

In the presence of the people you love, your needs grow and grow, until those people are so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave you for their own survival.

The greatest task is to claim yourself for yourself, so that you can contain your needs within the boundaries of your self and hold them in the presence of those you love. True mutuality in love requires people who possess themselves and who can give to each other while holding on to their own identities. So, in order for both to give more effectively and to be more self-contained with your needs, you must learn to set boundaries to your love.” 

~ Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love

Introverted Rules of Engagement

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Does any of this sound familiar to you? Some helpful information for improving your relationship with the introverts in your life and possibly much needed validation for introverts all over the world. It’s also just a great model for how to handle and hold your own energy. I used to believe I was introverted. HA. Quite the opposite.

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Enjoy the silence. 🙂

The Perfect Gift

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“Today let us search for what we can appreciate in others, and ourselves, instead of searching for what we can judge and condemn. Many times we look at others through the prism of what we think they are not, define their worth as lacking, and then complain that our relationships seem lacking. When we focus on lack, we will find our relationships lacking. And so today let us shift our focus from thoughts of lack/deficiencies to thoughts of worth/appreciation. A person worth is inherent, changeless in its eternal nature, thus we cannot add to nor subtract from it. A person’s may choose to showcase or hide their worth, yet that does not make their worth any more or less infinite. No one should ever need to prove their worth to you, nor should you need to prove your worth to others; no one ever needs justify their worth/life, even to themselves.

Today let us reclaim our truth: “Our worth is perfect, gifted to us in our creation, changeless in time. We, nor anyone else can ever take away from or add to our worth.””

~ James Blanchard Cisneros, “You Have Chosen to Remember

Universal Hugs

Have you hugged yourself today? Take a moment this morning and get closer to yourself. Look into a mirror and maybe think about these words by Dr. Piyal Walpola.

“The most important person is the one in front of you. The most important thing to do is to care. If this is true, care for yourself first. Love yourself first. Appreciate yourself first. Value your own human life. Then you are not alone. Stop expecting too much from you. Say this is good enough. I am happy to be here. I am kind to myself. I not looking for anything more.”

In a recent article by Marcus Julian Felicetti called 10 Reasons Why We Need 8 Hugs A Day, he says that hugs boosts self-esteem. “From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.”

Love is flowing through you right now without any effort on your part.  No need to disguise yourself to get it because you already have it. Look in the mirror and accept yourself without condition. Stop jumping through hoops to feel good. The Universe will thank you in so many wonderful ways! You might even get an unexpected hug. 🙂

(Thank you Kindness Blog for sharing this video)