Double Vision. I feel like exploring some feelings and experiences I have had living with double vision. Not sure what I am going to say about it. Might even change my mind. Is it worth it to write it down and rehash old memories? Maybe. Could be good to look back with a different sense of understanding. Gain some perspective. Funny how all these phrases are vision related.
I have spent most of my life pretending that I did not have double vision or trying to hide my condition from people. It is exhausting. On top of double vision I also have no lens in my right eye. It was damaged in the accident. If I close my left eye what I see through my right can be best described as what it looks like underwater without goggles. Most people don’t understand what it’s like. In the simplest terms it is an ever present challenge to stay in the NOW. A literal physical symptom of living a life of “duality,” to borrow a word from Richard Rohr. I guess it’s no mystery why I’ve been drawn to Rohr’s understanding of Christianity. I actually SEE the physical manifestation of it depending on where my mind and focus is at any given moment.
I think that’s all I want to write about it right now. Anyone else out there live with double vision?
“When I look at the galaxies on a clear night – when I look at the incredible brilliance of creation, and think that this is what God is like, then instead of feeling intimidated and diminished by it, I am enlarged . . . I rejoice that I am a part of it.”
“In what must surely be one of the most ignored passages of the Bible, Paul wrote this two millennia ago:
As for myself, I do not care if I am judged by you or by any human court. I do not even judge myself. I know of no wrong I have done, but this does not make me right before the Lord. The Lord is the One who judges me. So do not judge before the right time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light things that are now hidden in darkness, and will make known the secret purposes of people’s hearts. Then God will praise each one of them. (1 Cor. 4:3–5 NCV)
That’s amazing. Think about what Paul was writing there: He doesn’t know anyone’s motives. Not even his own. Even if his own conscience was clear, that didn’t make him innocent. Paul was aware of his own inability to judge himself. He couldn’t be trusted. So, he said, leave the judging up to God. He’ll sort it out in the end.
This can’t be glossed over. Think about how taking this to heart could deflate our own anger, even before it takes hold. We have no idea what is in someone else’s heart. We don’t know the backstory. We don’t know what’s happening in his mind. We don’t know how her brain works. We think we do, sure, but we don’t.”
“People have hurt me, and I’ve hurt them. I get angry toward murderers, and then here comes Jesus, telling me if I’ve ever hated someone—and I have—I am the murderer’s moral equal. No one likes to hear this. We want to think people are worse than us. It’s one of our favorite pastimes.”
“We are all frightened of those who are different, those who challenge our authority, our certitudes, and our value system. We are all so frightened of losing what is important for us, the things that give us life, security, and status in society. We are frightened of change and, I suspect, we are even more frightened of our own hearts.”