Maturing and Surrendering

Just some thoughts today…

I think the hardest part of surrendering is coming to accept that you were denying God for so long. My Ego wants to say I was doing it wrong but that’s probably not true. Each moment I want to give in to fear to hate or anger and I surrender that energy to God or the universe I feel a piece of me fighting back just under the surface. A piece longing to lash out against this universal force. I know that it is the ego fighting to survive. To let it die quietly is the choice. Die quietly or go out with a bang. This is the mark of maturity. The word means more to me now as a word that defines how long you’ve been at war with your ego versus any other life experience. I guess that’s why some children behave in a more mature manner than many adults. Perhaps it is the internal struggle against reality that ages and refines the soul more than our time here on Earth in a physical body.

 

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